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Honest Hour: Yesterday, on Valentine’s Day, I got back together with my ex-boyfriend. I’m happy to have him back, but here’s the problem: Fate doesn’t like me. Every time I get happy in a relationship, my family either gets some new crisis to deal with or my “blue period” (like Picasso’s blue period) returns and I become an antisocial bitchwad. When this happens, my built-in defense mechanisms go haywire and I end up breaking up with the people I’m dating so they don’t have to deal with it.

I genuinely like the guy I’m with now, but I’m reluctant to really show it. If I give in and share the secret tenderness of my soul, I’ll have to show him where my demons hide. I don’t wanna depress the poor kid…

I tell you that, so you know why I chose this song. It’s perfect for my current situation. Michael, I’m sorry.

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